Tough Stuff..sometimes you have to look close to tame the beast

So far I have enjoyed blogging about mostly the good stuff in life. The fun I have being a parent and a chef for families.Well with the good there always there is some not so good. Most everything that needs work on in our world is something that I have lost control of. Like laundry, that runs a-muck in my house. The things that are weighing the heaviest on my mind now are the lessons I have screwed up for our oldest and youngest children. Now don't get me wrong trouble is equally distributed amongst all our kids. While they are great performers when that preferable carrot is dangling, they get lost on the minutia of life, so do I. This is why my laundry runs amuck and what it takes for me to tame the evil beast. Well that is the lesson I need to work on for my family. Doing what needs to be done not always what we want to do.

Where it all began

Let me start with the little one. This one  problem can really be hung on me. My kids have joked me about spoiling the Biz. Well, all I can say is that it has not been my intention. It is just sometimes easier, oops there is that word, to give in then to fight. With number five I have done just that, given in, paved the way for stubborn procrastination. I have been working hard on getting her to clean her room, with out parental intervention for over 2 weeks. It is a mess and I know she is capable of cleaning it because if I dangled the right carrot she would get it done. Well I have run out of carrots for her. What has been done differently recently? Yes I started working after my 15 years of stay at home Mom-ing but I only work 2 days a week. Can you really call that work? There was a reminder from the other kids..I remember now. Sundays were clean the house days. We would clean the common rooms based  on our chore chart and bedrooms were left for the occupant. Well when the kids are still in single digits that can take a while. I recall Greyson taking about 7 hours, locked in his room to clean it. Now he was not cleaning for 7 hours he was fiddling, reading playing..then like thirty minutes of cleaning to be done with his room. The principle was that she had to stay there and stick with it until it was done. I have let that go for a time. Biz would start on her room and then be distracted by something in the house and move on, never finishing here task. The beast came back, I found her within. Up she went to here room and I followed, locked that door from the outside and said get to it!!! Kids will always push your buttons when they can. So did the Biz. She asked me to help her clean, complained of numerous aches and injuries, she needed food and water. Really she was only up there for an hour or so. She was not treated cruelly or with malevolent intent. All things considered, it took two weeks to get her going, in the end she did a great job. From this day forward I know with out a doubt she can clean her room. Thank goodness we haven't turned her lock back to the inside. I think I will continue to harbor the inner beast.

 She did it.

That pesky oldest child has a terrible habit of robbing Peter to pay Paul. He is not very inclined to take care of his basic needs, like cooking for himself. Not even make a sandwich. It takes to much time away from twitter and facebook to prepare food for himself. Now I do know that he sometimes, when home eats what I feed him and at school he has the dinning hall. Those are freebies in his life. Really we are a bonus. Still his temptation to go out for wings (and whatever else) with friends or grab a smoothie and a wrap after a long work out are his go to habit. Now it is not exactly fair to say he is a total slacker here. This summer he did manage to save for a car..took him everyday of his break from school. He did make some concessions in his life to do this. Truthfully if he had actually cut the fat he would have been ahead of the game. He is learning, I hope.



 Learning to weigh our options



I can take some responsibility here too. for a long time I was always the mom that took Tad and whichever conglomeration he had gathered, swim car pool, teens who needed a ride, tag-a-longs,and would get smoothies, milkshakes or Slurpee's. I can take credit for my kids storming 7-11 on July 11th every year.We would drive from store to store to see how many free Slurpee we could get. Grabbing food or snacks on the go came sort of naturally. It was not something he (or we) gave thought too. My well was deeper then his. When I foot the bill it is a little easier absorbed then when he tries to "save" for college expenses and a car over one summer. When you look at the debit card deductions from his checking account and add it all up it can be a sizable amount. The lesson I have tried to impart to Tad is that you have to pay for the needs first and foremost. The wants in life come second and fun must come LAST.

These are life disciplines for all my kids; put in the hard work in up front. That may be learning saving for the needs first or how to keep you personal space in order and clean. As a parent sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees. When things begin to thin out we need to take the time and re-enforce these lessons or undo our lapses as parents.  I will reward my kids with little things at home, like their favorite Peanut Butter Chocolate chip cookies, try them on your family. I just need to be sure in 9 years that they can all handle themselves outside of our home. They will be visitors in Costa Rica when I retire.

Homemade Cookies for a Crew;

4 sticks of sweet cream butter
3/4 peanut butter, crunchy is best
11/2 cups sugar
11/2 cups brown sugar
1T vanilla extract
4 eggs
5-51/2 cups Flour ( I use equal parts cake flour and all purpose flour)
2 t baking powder
1/2t baking soda
1t salt
17 ounces cups chocolate chips(1-11 ounce semi-sweet and 60nces milk chocolate)

Bake at 325.  Here are my favorite cookie tips; Bake long and low for a softer cookie. I also mix my flour to help the softness and chewier factor. Never can get enough vanilla. If you are hard core chewy Cookie person, sub half the butter for 1 Crisco stick.

1) Cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy.
2) Add vanilla and eggs and beat until incorporated
3)Mix  together all dry ingredients; flours, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
4) Mix in the dry ingredients into butter and eggs in 2 parts. ( if still loose and shiny add the additional 1/2c flour)
5) Stir in the chocolate chips.
6) Allow dough to rest for 1 hour in refrigerator.
7)Portion and bake for 18-20 minutes. Yield 72- 2' cookies
1T vanila